Monday

Could not go to bed last night. Flip toss and turn. Needed to attend school today. Failed grooming check required to report to school again tomorrow. Sigh! I'll be alone. Drank a couple of glasses just now, eventually fell asleep. Woke up having a terrible hangover. Headed to bed once more. And awoken by Derrick's phone call, and ended watching MJ on the television. Geez... no Prison Break, darn! Waiting for Derrick to online before heading to bed till morning. Adios all.

Woken up from virtual reality, guess what? I've lost ALL my friends. Where did they all go? Seeking the happiness I used to find in maple. It ain't there anymore. Friendship dissolved by the levels. From the time we spent taking ships together, KS-ed together. To apology after rejection. I'm sick and tired of this. I've seen you less then 3 times with me ever since I came back to maple. What korkor... I do not need any title or whatsoever. Now the little girl I protected has all grown up ignoring me and busy with her boyfriend's FRIENDS! I'm not jealous, just plan miserable and disappointed. Focused into life situation, where's my friends? Wait a min, I don't have any... All were none other then lies. Well at least I'm glad I do not need to face those untrusted people who claims themselves as "friends".

My trip to the zoo. Tired after uploading these photos taken.

Had a real terrible and tiring day today. Couldn’t sleep last night. All I could think of was my dream car. And the age that I would be able to own one. Woke up early this morning to prepare for school. Had a Mocktail competition in school today. I am the co coordinator. I kinda had fun looking at the panic faces before the competition. It went on rather smoothly. But slowly felt depressed over practically nothing. Just felt really down. Tired… Yawns… I’ve pre typed this in the train so that I’m able to retire early tonight.

But all that I hope and wished has been dashed... I miss my son... :( He's a nice, cute, fun, lovely boy. Thou he's a few years my junior, but we're like real father and son. He'll always be there to cheer me up. When I'm down, the way he speaks, hangs a smile upon my face.

Trixie having problems with ZH again. How to help...? Very much I wish to solve their problems, she's a stubborn as a bull. Insisting on her ways, and wish to depress herself. What am I to do with her. One reason sometimes I get really angry is when someone seek my advice and deny my advice perform the exact opposite and look for me all over again. Somehow, I think I should just listen. And give no comments. That might do the trick.

I just don't understand why I feel so utterly depressed. I'm not knowing the reason. I feel so alone. Changed my desktop wallpaper to this. I really wish I can ride in one of these futuristic automobile.



Everyone has hopes and dreams. My dream is to drive in my Lamborghini Murcielago LP 640 Roadster!

Down with flu, went to Double O to witness Bacardi Martini competition. Rui Qi got into the semi-finals. Congratulations to her. Thank God! I didn't join this competition this time round. Even thou I was the only one made it through cocktail semi-finals for AFJ cocktail competition, I felt this time round will not be too good. Well, made a new friend James Bandril whom Mr Jonathan Siah introduced to me. Besides his heavily tattooed body, he's a very friendly nice guy. I hope to learn from him in the near future. I've just linked BishopGal from Maple. Didn't train much today, I'll speed my training up during the holidays. Thinking if I should participate in National Cocktail Competition. I've the application form, but I'm worrying about my drink... Sigh... My flairing is bad. Mr Bandril, please train me XP Joking! I bet he'll be one of the competitor there too.

As expected did pretty bad for FBSC, spending most of my time mapling nowadays. Childish game? But that's where I found some of my most trusted friends until today. At least they don't give you a stab in the back. They'll talk things out whenever they're unhappy about something. And not resorting to backstabbing and spreading nonsensical remarks about you. Well, to me that's what real friends do... They'll always be there for you when you need them. And not only needed help will they come find you. They'll help you through it all. 

Time's ticking away... last exam is coming close... life wouldn't be as great as in the past. People change, well let's just stick with the happy memories. I might be the cause of unhappiness, I apologize. Time flies out of the window, soon enough, I'll parish before anyone knows. I'm not emotional, I'm just reflecting. Improving my life, regardless of how much pain I cause to the others, I'm not perfect. I'm just another human seeking for a perfect life.

I've worked hard for what I ever wanted. But sometimes, no matter how much I insist and even with help from others, things might not go in my way. In which, to me it doesn't matter anymore.

Headed to do some shopping with Shi Min, Grace, Riah, Ayu, Joanne, Khee Khim , Sherman and Zai at IMM. Bought a lot of stuff for FBEC. Whoo... tiring... this event is literally hands on! I'm like doing so many handicrafts.... Geez... I wander just where you are... ( Out of topic, listening to Faber drive) Adios

Stress! Until now, I've yet to study the right thing for the test tomorrow! Gawd! Save my candied ass!

Hate me for who I am, I don't bother anymore.





Sigh... What are friends for? Once trusted, I'm a failure. There's no one who will ever be true to you. Humans are utterly selfish... They don't learn their lesson once after even gone. I dare to say girl with me will never shed a tear unless she's scares me... I'm no Dr. Love , I'm just the ordinary me. A person who you can speak to. I won't leak anything out unless I HATE YOU TO THE FUCKING DARN CORE. Which there's only one person in my mind now. 

Labels: I sense bloodshed... literally

There's a saying, be smart, don't act smart. I act smart chase after andre and jump off chairs when helping FK2 for their event's decoration. Now I've 2 blue toe... not bluetooth. Hopes the swell subside or I won't be able to go to school to meet em' tomorrow.

Another week of school. Dragging myself totally to head to school. Some part of me is kinda looking forward to industrial attachment. Sounds heartless? But, yeah! Especially with what I'm going through, I don't blame myself for it. I've always had fantasy over powers over ordinary citizen. Powers for the world to scream, in a good way or  in a bad way. I'm not too sure myself.  

I'm a killer.

Sometimes I wander is the fact being told or a lie is being spread? Well, I would not bother even if everyone is against me. I will not be taken down by some childish, immature, self-indulgent yet gibberish acts done by anyone against me. But I really hope that facts are being told and stop spreading lies. You can turn the class against me. Deep down, those who knows the truth might sophisticate with you too. It does not matter. I'm not emotional, I admit the truth that I'm taking pills to compress my temper. Hate me, swear at me, I don't give a ****. Not happy? Talk to me in the face, it's not that I'm afraid of you, because I don't wish to spoil this last 2 months in school. You are one person who can't be trusted. Believe or not, once, twice, thrice. I've heard your betrayal over and over again. Press me, you'll seek your ugly truth. One things for sure, do not be a wanna-be.

Labels: Reply post to another blog.

Slept a lot today. Dizzy mind. Stable emotions. Better off alone. Uploading photos all FK's photo soon.

Fucked up! Suddenly I felt I've been framed as the bad guy. Fair enough, everyone wants to test my patience? FINE! Arrogant? I'll only speak to those who can articulate the proper pronunciation of every single words coming out of my lips. 

Unleashing my flare bit by bit. Shouted at someone today, I apologise for being so temperamental. 

We're close, not very close. Sometimes, I just wished you could fuck off from my life. I hate you till the burning core. Seriously I do. You're nothing special to me, without you, my life would be sweeter. Please get out of my life. Counting down the days till I won't be seeing you anymore. How grateful I'll be without you. >:( You made my attitude change for the worst. You sparked on my hot temper. You're the cause of my misery I live each day. Don't pretend you're nice to me, deep down I can feel you're just faking it out. You "smile" led you away.

Dying... The weather is totally cooking me up. I wander if Singapore is on fire soon? Haix, Sorry

Had a terrible day today. Walked to school in shoes! It hurts so gawd darn pain! Had our graduation photo taken before leaving for interview at Carlton Singapore. Had a long chat with the Training Manager and the F&B Manager. Surprised by why I called it chat instead of interview? It's because we really were chatting instead of interviewing me. I think I performed rather well today. But I'm still depressed. I really didn't mean to 'steal' this IA slot, which Mr Liew claims. I really did not expect it either. :( Or, if I did, I'm sorry my classmates.

Living life with a dream is so much more meaning compared to the past. I'm feel more challenges to overcome. Everyone is getting mature as time past. Carine spoke to me to the mature height. A way that I never spoke to her before. God! Someone just irritated me just awhile ago. I need to chill out with some music. Bye.

Dear God,
Is this a test? Or is this my will power? I don't know what else to do, I'm lost. Though I should not go back to my old ways, but it's somewhere, where I seek comfort in. Time and tide, indeed waits for no man. I thank you for answering ONE of my prayers. I'm glad school is really working out well for me. I'll listen with an open heart.

To sigh? Or not to sigh?

Have been playing tagged all this while. Have been listening to Jesse McCartney songs non stop since I reached home till now. I've hit it on reply, and I don't get bored over it...Baby don't be gentle I can handle a lil pain... hahah! You've got me right where you want me! Freezing my Jonnie Walker Gold Label now... ooo... hahah!!! Going out to ECP tomorrow to celebrate Elvin, Aunt, Uncle and Uncle Ben's April Birthdays! Woots!

New blog with a new aim of life. Walking out of my darkness. Walking into a life filled with dreams waiting to be achieved. I want to be as famous as you. You're my motivation, my inspiration. It's over! It's really over this time. Stop daydreaming and make things into reality. I will be famous one day, I promise! But it's got to be soon. I'm not young anymore. :( Don't stress don't stress don't stress! I'm leaving NEVER to come back again.